Spanko Testimonies

Below are some spanko-submitted recollections of their first spanking.

Trisha

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

I always wondered about the excitement or feelings of anticipation leading up to a spanking. The first time I met with someone to be spanked, I had all of those. They felt delightful. From the butterflies in my stomach to the beating of my heart, it was just as I'd imagine I'd feel before a spanking.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

For a long time, I had fantasized and thought about a really hard and long spanking. I imagined myself as some great warrior who could take a lot of pain and bear it and make it through. In reality, I yelped a lot and really could only tolerated smacks of low to lower-mid severity.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

I felt completely normal after my first spanking. However, I did not expect to feel the way I did 24 hours later. Most people experience a sort-of-high while being spanked and then when they come down off of that high, it's called sub-drop. My sub-drop did not happen until about 24 hours later. I really needed to be held and talked to and hugged but I was at work. I talked to the person I had played with on the phone and he told me he'd come see me when I got home and he did. You learn a lot about your body and the way it will react---I learned that you can't always know what to expect.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

Looking back, I think I would have allowed myself to trust more. It wasn't that I didn't trust the person I was playing with...it was that submitting to the spanking and allowing myself to be led was a lot harder than I thought it would be.

Amanda

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

The feeling of anticipation,I knew that it was going to be like that, it's hard not to.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

The helplessness surprised me my first time, I knew that that was a part, however it was more then i expected. Also the fact that i had a say, and i had the power to stop it should i need to. From reading and dreaming about it, i had no idea that i had that much control.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

I remember feeling bliss the first few hours afterwards, then a sense of calm, and happiness. Like i had finally found a sense of belonging.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

I would have most certainly negotiated more beforehand, and talked about the fact that i didn't really know exactly where my limits were so we could have explored and found out before jumping head first into the play.

Sasha

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

I wasn't really sure what to expect.I was mostly just curious.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

Since I came in curious, and not looking to satisfy a need, I was a pretty open book.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

Ow. I felt ow.For days.Long days, full of work chairs and (evil)slide booths at restaurants.

I remember going into shock shortly afterwards. I had some trouble breathing. My body decided I was obviously trying to murder it.After practicing changing oxygen into carbon monoxide, I felt a little better. My top was able to walk me through this.I was still in shock for several hours afterwards. For me, that was the scariest part.Other than the look on his face anyway.In the days afterwards, I felt content and fiercely proud every time I sat on my poor bottom. It was pretty great.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

I probably would have brought chocolate and water. Best shock treatment ever.

In hindsight, doing more research would have been smart, as well as setting up a safety call. My dom was already kinda vetted, as we had talked for several months prior; however, safety should always be a priority! I was lucky- my top isn't crazy, abusive, or a bad guy.

Erin

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

that the spanking hurt, that I would cry, and that I would have bruises left from the spanking/paddling. Other then that thats all I remember it was years ago.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

the spanking hurt way more then I thought it would, and I found I dislike wooden implements, but know they are needed for real discipline to be effective. But what is also needed is a good mental connection with the top issuing the spanking, that is what i lacked mainly.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

I wanted more, even though my body told me no. I craved to feel the sting, the emotional release, i couldn't stop feeling like I was left wanting for more.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

I would have not filmed it, I would have had it more private, and I would have preferred it to be with someone I had a mental connection with and who I knew I could trust, because I had not known the guy who first spanked me that long before he took me over his knee

Kim

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

I went into my first spanking expecting the most traditional unfolding of a scene: scolding, being placed over someone’s knee, having my clothing pulled down for me, lecturing while spanking, etc. All of these aspects actually happened in my first scene, and they played out very similarly to what I had imagined for so long. I also expected to feel awkward and nervous. My expectations for awkward nervousness were inevitably met.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

It hurt much more than I thought it would. I couldn’t believe how much it stung. Even though the scene played out like I had imagined, my reaction to the spanking was very different from what I thought it would be. I had expected to be feeling sorry and contrite for the issues my spanker and I had discussed prior to and during the spanking, but I couldn’t help but think: “We’re just play acting now. We’ve constructed this elaborate fake punishment scene. How weird.” It caused me to go back and reevaluate what my expectations were vs. what an adult spanking for me was actually like.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

Within minutes, I thought: “Okay, my obsession has been met, and it hurts way too much for me to ever try this again.” Within hours I was curiously and somewhat proudly checking out my marks in the mirror. Within days, I was thinking: “I need this to happen again as soon as possible.”

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

As far as picking out a spanker goes, I would not have done anything differently. I purposely picked someone who had a reputation in the scene, who could provide “references” from other girls he had spanked, and someone who was willing to discuss my needs and limitations and wholeheartedly abide by them without making me feel bad. I do, however, wish that I had spent more time getting to know this person in order to establish a stronger connection with him. Talking for a week online, and then 5-10 minutes in person, before being half naked over someone’s lap is kind of emotionally jarring. I think I would have been much more receptive to the spanking if I would have known more about my spanker as a person, rather than just a willing hand.

Millie

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

I remember the nervous feeling in my stomach right before it began. It felt very natural being put over someone's knee. It hurt but it was also very cathartic.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

After so many years of built up emotions and anticipation about getting my first spanking it was a little disappointing. I didn't have very much experience communicating my needs and expectations for a spanking and it wasn't as intense as I would have liked.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

I remember feeling sore when I sat down at work later that night! I really liked having that as a reminder. Even though it wasn't the magical experience I was hoping for, it made me realize that spanking was something I really wanted in my life and I needed to continue exploring it.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

In retrospect I should have communicated my needs in a more explicit way. It was the beginning of a wonderful domestic discipline relationship with my partner and allowed me to gauge his interest in spanking. I am very happy I finally worked up the nerve to ask for what I needed.

Kira

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

it really was nothing like how i imagined; its kind of amazing that i didnt give it up completely

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

i had actually fantasized myself being moved to squirming by a handspanking, and possibly being brought to tears by a hairbrushing, but i have discovered that i am a pretty heavy player and can take quite a lot, and in fact i need a certain level in order to not feel let down.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

i became even more driven, if anything, wanting to improve the experience. my first spanking was pretty disappointing.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

i think i still would have given my husband the first crack at it, so to speak, in trying to preserve my marriage. i have been experimenting for several years now, and played with some awesome tops. never give up on your dreams!

Lauri

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

I had been thinking about spanking since I was a little girl, and I had it built up as this perfect blend of chastisement and comfort. The way I felt while being spanked was exactly the way I had anticipated...I felt small, submissive, and very safe.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

I imagined that a few slaps of a hand, and I would be sobbing and begging my spanker to stop, complete with tears and kicking feet. In truth, I found myself with a massive pain threshold, and even his several toys couldn't make me feel that sense of desperation to stop the spanking. It was disappointing to me that I didn't cry, but it turned out to be several years before I was able to find that kind of release.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

I felt so many things...

I was upset, because I didn't have an emotional attachment to my spanker, and started to invent one in my mind to try to make up for it. I had myself convinced that I was in love with him shortly after the spanking. I had subdrop, though I had no idea what it was at the time, I just felt a great need for comfort and couldn't stop crying every time I was alone for weeks afterward. I felt euphoric about the fact that my bottom hurt mildly for days, I would sit down hard on every chair I saw, and just bask in that pain. I felt everything so much more vividly for the weeks following my first spanking...something that occasionally still happens to this day.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

I would have tried to find a spanker whom I felt comfortable with, as my first spanker was someone I didn't really know well. I would have taken more safety precautions, and talked about what would happen at length, before meeting with him.

Liz

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

I knew I would hate it and complain while it was happening but that it was necessary and I would feel better when it was over.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

When it came time to be bare-bottomed over his lap I freaked out. It wasn't about nudity. I'm comfortable showing my butt, it was my vulnerability I didn't want someone else to see.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

As the hours passed more bruising appeared. I was mesmerized by the feeling of the welts and would admire the colors every time I passed a mirror. Emotionally I felt relaxed and focused.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

Reconsidering things I would have rescheduled the 8 hr road trip I had to take the next day.

I had a good experience that shaped the spanko I am today.

Melanie

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

The satisfied feelings that I had and the butterflies I got during the spanking were exactly what I had imagined.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

I was super nervous about the pain aspect of it, to the point where I was kind of scared about not being able to handle the spanking I wanted. I had no idea what my tolerance would be like, or exactly how I would relate to the pain. I found out a lot about my pain tolerance, and it really surprised me.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

I was elated. I felt really satisfied, like something finally "clicked." I was giddy for a few days following the spanking, I kept on sitting on hard surfaces, bouncing around in my seat, and poking my bruises because I wanted to bring back little reminders of the experience.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

I had a really great first spanking experience with a spanko who had become a friend and was really invested in creating a positive experience for me, so in that respect I wouldn't change a thing. I do however wish that I had hung on to the after pictures that I had taken. I don't have them anymore and it would be nice to still have them.

Kitten

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

The lecturing was perfect. The spanking itself was very thorough and precise. The comforting (hugs, cuddles, etc.) after the spanking was the best part, as I expected. I felt completely loved and unconditionally cared about during the entire process. He respected my boundaries and proved that he had listened to every bit of what I had communicated to him in our conversations.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

The pain of the spanking was a lot worse than I was expecting it to be at the time. That ended up being a good thing though, as it was a discipline spanking. I was also a lot more nervous than I thought I would be, even though my Top had been an internet friend of mine for a while. It actually all turned out better than I had honestly expected.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

In the hours following the spanking, I was in a bit of pain from bruising (which I wanted), but it was a good kind of pain. Overall, I felt absolutely wonderful and completely at peace with myself. It was an amazingly happy head space. It's pretty hard to put the feeling into words...it was just perfect. The result of the session kept me focused for a few weeks.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

I would have just relaxed because I could have enjoyed the entire experience so much more without all of the unnecessary added anxiety. I would have also been far more compliant and fought the spanking less because that turned out to be a very bad idea.

T.J.

What things were the same as you thought they'd be?

Going into my first spanking, I knew that it would be extremely embarrassing. Having to bare my ass and bend over his knee, I knew would be one of the worse parts of the whole ordeal, and it was. I never blushed so hard before.

What things were different from what you thought they'd be?

I did not think that the pain would be so intense. I never got spanked on my bare bottom before then, so I did not know what to expect. It hurt far worse than I'd ever would have imagined.

How did you feel about the spanking in the following hours and days?

I felt like a bag of mixed nuts, confused. The pain didn't last long afterwards, but the emotions I had were mixed. I was content and relaxed, but on the other hand I was confused and conflicted. I didn't think that getting a spanking was wrong, but at the same time...I did. So, I was in a world wind of going back and forth with my thought process. In the end I decided that it was the right thing for me.

What things would you have done differently, looking back?

I would have taken more time to get to know the guy. He was nice (very nice), but at the same time...I barely knew him. I did not meet him at a safe, public place, and did not tell any one where I was going. Thankfully things worked out well, but it could have all ended up very badly. I would take more caution to my safety.